For those about to rock/fans of allegories:
We salute you





Hello Mayor Ford,
Perhaps you are aware that this Thursday evening is The Power Plant Contemporary Art Gallery’s yearly gala, Power Ball. Today I won two complimentary VIP tickets to Power Ball and I would be honoured if you would attend with me!

Winning the tickets meant winning a contest of embarrassing proportions. Eleven years ago, a student art project gone wrong made me an international media sensation. I had to be cut out of a full-body plaster cast after being stuck in it for more than five hours. I got the most memorable bikini wax of my life when the mold was eventually sawed off at Kingston General Hospital.

The bizarre experience was voted best story on CBC’s As It Happens, and was picked up multiple times by the international news wire – only adding to my shame.

You yourself have had a recent stint of unfair and relentless media coverage. Maybe we could toast our experiences over a free Kronenbourg?

I think this could be a really fun evening.
The VIP party starts at 8pm.


Tomorrow please don’t vote for his brother



Dear A,

M says it’s $650/month to rent a storefront in this neighbourhood. He says he’s trying to convince N into opening something.

Let me know,


*start dream sequence* 

…observe the chiaroscuro, the differences of the world through the starkness of the extremes; darkness and light, day and night, 7 mins between the starkness of away and within. Tranquillity. Enjoy the peaceful mornings, and the festive evenings. Going to work on an empty tourist boat every day. Somersaults and stretching, hanging, feeding little birds your sandwich on a vast, empty, wooden deck… Taking the kayak into the middle of the middle of Donut Island. Completely isolated, away from the madding crowds. But most of all enjoy the nights, cool nights on the chilling waters, the water lapping up against the side of the boat like two friends playing with each other, caring for each other – giving ‘Summer Idol’ his/her/their rest from the heat of the day. 11pm. “Last boat to the city! Last Boat!”. Wait five minutes… *rumble rumble …). Phew… Social Contract. Stop. Sssshhhh! All is quiet. Except…

In the morning birds and the charging swans chasing the hissing geese lunge!

Oh gawd I love that island.


PS. Living the island life is a transformative experience…




Happy Mother’s Day

Thank You